The Christmas Story - a work in progress

I have been working on a project off and on for about 5 years. I have never been overlay satisfied with it, but am still not. Part of my dissatisfaction stems from my weakness in writing fantasy fiction. The other part stems from rewriting such a powerful passage of scripture. So, I put this out there and am open to your honest critics. What can I do to make it better? Should I just turn the project over to someone else who can write it better? Let me know. So here it is:

The Christmas Story on LSD according to “The Apocalypse”

(I recommend reading Revelation 12 before reading my rendition)


Though the sun rose each morning, the days in Jerusalem were dark. Little joy or hope could be found. This place did not live up to its name, “City of Peace” because for many years Jerusalem lived under the shadow of the great beast from the sea – the dragon. As dragons go, this was no ordinary mythic creature. He was the most powerful dragon that ever lived. He could blot out the sun when he flew in front of it and could send stars flying out of the galaxy or crashing towards earth with the sweep of his tail. His appearance was unlike any normal dragon’s form. This gigantic beast was colored red as though dripping in blood. He had not one head but seven. Each head had ten horns and each head had a crown. The heads were the source of his power and the authority of his crowns put down any contenders.

The dragon’s official name was Herod. Of course, those who had heard of his cruelty called him Hasatan—the Adversary—which is what we shall call him. Hasatan ruled the land with an iron fist. He kept his brand of “peace” by spreading fear and violence. Any resistance was met with execution. In fact, Hasatan was so paranoid about people usurping his throne that he consumed his wife with fire and devoured his 3 offspring for fear that they were plotting against him.

Indeed, the days were dark. But in the midst of this bleak situation, a light began to shine. This light began as just a spark and almost flickered and died out. Nevertheless, when darkness seems so complete, little is required to bring hope.
A woman became pregnant with child. Ordinarily, such an event was worth celebrating, but this was no ordinary child and no ordinary woman. Her appearance was startling and looking at her was like looking into the light of the sun. Her clothes were the sun and her shoes the moon. Upon her head rested a crown with 12 stars. She was indeed royalty as she stood for the matriarch of the 12 tribes of Israel. Through her and her offspring the tribes would be united and all the earth would know a time of peace that had not been known since the expulsion of humankind from Eden. The child would fulfill the prophecy spoken by the oracle Y’shiah:

“On that day
Yahweh with his cruel and great and strong sword
will punish Leviathan the fleeing serpent,
Leviathan the twisting serpent,
and he will kill the dragon that is in the sea.”

Once the child destroyed the power of the dragon this child of prophecy would rule the land not with fear and violence but with an iron scepter. After all, the child’s authority stemmed from his rightful place as God of the Land not from wars waged against all opposition.

So when Hasatan heard of the birth of one who was claming rights to kingship in the land, he burned with anger and acted out of fear. Gathering his minions, he enacted a plan to destroy any hope of a Savior. Children bearing any likeness to this prophetic figure were immediately slaughtered. The blood of the massacre spilled into the streets. Cries of great pain and sorrow erupted throughout the land as the death toll grew.

But elsewhere, in the long forgotten town known as “The House of Bread” the matriarch cried out in a different kind of pain. Her son, the foretold figure, was born into this world. In keeping with the prophecy she named him Yeshua—Yahweh Saves—fully aware of his salvific purpose in this world. Frightened that her son would suffer the same fate as so many other children, she fled to a place where this sea monster serpent could not find her. She and baby escaped into the Land of the Sun where they hid out of the dragon’s reach until his fury had subsided.

When they returned from the desert the baby was no longer a helpless infant. No force could stand up against his strength and power. Everywhere Hasatan had enacted his cruelty, Yeshua rectified the bleak condition by healing the mangled, freeing captives, and destroying the oppressive control that were marks of the Dragon’s regime. Each day as the spark of light grew and made its way into his kingdom, Hasatan grew angrier and more scared. And so he enacted a plan to finish the evil plot he began so long ago.

Eventually, Yeshua and Hasatan met on the Hill of the Skull, Golgatha, either to prove the prophecy or destroy all hope. Yeshua took the best shot Hasatan had to give, and not only survived but destroyed Hasatan’s greatest weapon—fear of death. As the light of life enfolded Yeshua, the epic battle was over. With victory in hand, Yeshua ascended into heaven. But just as a spark of fire sets a forest ablaze, so the flicker of light emanating from Yeshua began to crowd out the darkness. No longer was the gloom of despair over the land. The light of hope radiated from all who heard the news.

The great dragon was defeated, but evil was not destroyed completely. Hoping to salvage some remnant of power and control, he and his minions stormed the gates of heaven seeking to cripple Yeshua’s power. But they were met by the Commander of Heaven’s Army, Michael, with the Army of Yahweh in tow. Heaven’s army turned Hasatan’s dark ensemble away, casting them back to the earth to wander around in defeat, hoping to recruit enough followers to once again stage a coup against the Kingdom of Light. He continues to battle but has no chance for victory. For the dawn has broken and the Son Shines!