Ethic in Question

The most common response we get when people find out that we are adopting from Ethiopia is "Why Ethiopia?"

It's easy when asked that to become a protective father. "We're adopting from Ethiopia, because that is where our daughter is." That response is designed to remind people that is none of their business, and cut the conversation short. But I know that is not usually very helpful.

Some people ask "Why Ethiopia," because they are simply curious about the process that led us to eliminate every other country that allows adoption in favor of Ethiopia. There is nothing harmful or offensive about such a response. In fact, it can be encouraging to have people take an interest.

Others ask "Why Ethiopia," because they want to know why not the U.S. This is not really offensive either. It can be annoying, because built into that question is the insinuation that they don't agree with our choice.

Behind this is an ethic that I have heard expressed by many people many times. The ethic: You take care of your own first.

I heard whispers of it years ago when our church increased its missions giving. "There are some needs closer to home." I heard it when a group from our church started feeding the homeless in Detroit (30 miles away) rather that the homeless in Pontiac (3 miles away). And now I've heard it about our adoption. "There are children in this country who need adopting, you know?"

I don't resonate with this ethic at all, so it is hard for me respond respectfully or intelligently. I'm tempted to call it xenophobia, selfishness, or maybe excuse for inaction. With our focus on what kind of meals our overweight children are eating 4 or 5 times a day, we never get to children are actually suffering from malnutrition. What I mean is we "start at home" and never leave.

I really do want to understand it, but I don't. I tend to look at the level of need.

Detroit has hundreds, perhaps thousands of homeless. I'd guess that Pontiac has a few dozen. We as the Church already spend the vast majority of dollars on ministry to this, the wealthiest nation in the world. Where is the bigger need.

With the adoption question, out of 250,000,000 Americans between 100,000 to 120,000 orphans in foster care at any time. That would make 1 out of 2,083 Americans an orphan in need of adoption (liberal estimate). Ethiopia has just 65, 300,000 people, about one fourth of the U.S. However, they have about 6,000,000 orphans in need of adoption. That is 50 to 60 times the number of orphans. More than 1 in 11 Ethiopians are orphans in need of adoption.

(UPDATE: According to UNICEF:The number of orphans in Ethiopia, Children (0-17 years) orphaned due to all causes, in 2005, is estimated at 4,800,000.Many other sites bring this current number closer to 6 million, which makes sense because this is only a 2005 estimate.So....The US census bureau estimates that there are 4,514,342 children under 18 living in New York state as of last year. So, you can safely say that if you take every child under 18 who lives in all of New York State and remove their parents you have roughly the number of orphans they estimated there were in Ethiopia 2 years ago...if you go by the more current estimates then you would have to add the state of Massachusetts at 1,448,884 kids under the age of 18 in 2006 and we are still about 100,000 kids shy...so lets add the District of Columbia with an estimate of 114,881 kids-So we would have to take all the kids under 18 in New York, Massachusetts and the District of Columbia - remove their parents and then you would have the number of children who are orphans in Ethiopia.) This courtesty of FLY AWAY HOME

Add to this that most adoptions are still domestic. Add to this that unadopted American orphans are still American citizens and live in the wealthiest country in the world. They have a chance. This is not the case for Ethiopian orphans. IF disease does not take them, poverty likely will.

Now, I'm ranting. Can someone offer a defense for the "Start at Home" ethic that I am missing?