Starting with Prayer, Reaching Men

This is a continuation of the thread on Brandon's post at The Cultural Taproom from yesterday.

"This willingness to just abandon those who are more comfortable with old thinking so you can do it your own way comes across as incredibly arrogant."

I actually view it as the opposite of arrogant. Arrogant to me would be believing I am right and trying to lead, manipulate, or force people to be church in a way they don't need to. I don't view house church so much as I am "right" but as a valid expression of Christ's body here and now. I do apologize that I might come across as arrogant in defense of it being a legitimate example of Christ's body, a defense I wish I never had to make. Likewise, that house churches are viewed as illegitimate comes across as arrogant to me. There should be enough room in the kingdom for "house" and "sanctuary" churches.

A good leader would make the congregation want the proposed change by showing or creating a vision of what that change would create. I guess I am somewhat lazy and would rather start a church rather than try to change a church because I enjoy being in a group of like-minded people serving together without the struggle (although planting a church is a struggle of a different sort) of getting there. To me, changing a church is so much more difficult than planting a church. To others, I have heard the opposite. I would not confuse my character flaws of laziness and selfishness as arrogance.

Planting a church that does things differently to reach those, whether men or women, that are turned off by the current system while allowing those who participate in the current system to continue to do so seems very loving to me. There is enough room for everyone to worship and be the church the way they feel led to. My personal experience has shown that house church is an answer to the question asked on how men can find a love for being the church. When you ask how the collective whole can reach more men, I consider house churches part of that collective whole and a good answer to that question. If house churches reach more men, the Church as a collective whole has reached more men. I don't see that divide between "house" church and "sanctuary" church; both are part of the Church, just different expressions of Christ's body.

There might be other ways to reach more men. I just proposed the one I knew because you asked how it could be done; it is the only one I know because I have had the experience of more women and less men in all of the other churches I have been part of. I did not expect to have to defend house church again as being a legitimate way of being a church or as part of the collective community of Christ. I just tried, albeit apparently too confrontationally and ineffectively, to explain why I think that might be the case.

I agree that figuring out how to reach more men is a tough and important question. I am struggling with transforming a church right now. I am not really focused on reaching men but on how we can reach anyone. My not-so-novel conclusion is that it all has to start with prayer, but some times the cliches are right. My first proposal for a prayer group was shot down; me and another deacon are proposing it differntly this Sunday. I found it disturbing that anyone would reject a prayer group meeting in the church, but I think it is important enough to try again before giving up.

I also believe that no answer would be universal. There is no universal "men's ministry" that can be plugged into every church that would work. What might work in your church would probably not work down here. So if you are struggling with how the local church you are part of can reach more men, I would suggest starting a prayer group for discovering that ministry.

I hate the phrase "house church" because I do not typically refer to the other church as "sanctuary church." Both are just church, but for clarity's sake, I used the phrase throughout this post. I am also not currently part of a house church but think they are very effective at being the body of Christ.

Visiting Delta Community Christian Church

We finally made it back to the churches (we visited just one) we planted in Lansing seven years ago. I really did not know what to expect since it had been five years since we had left and we have been bad church planters and have not visited since then. This will be my random thoughts of the experience interspersed with some history of the church.

We arrived a few minutes late to the Bunce's house where the church gathers. Ryan came up from the basement to greet us. (We had just started using the basement right before we had left five years ago.) At that time, they were just one church. Now they are two although they were three at one point. We walked down the stairs and the people were sitting in chairs in a circle. There were some people there that I did not know and others that I love dearly.

The worship began with the passing of the bread in which everyone broke the bread and gave a piece to the person sitting next to them telling them "The body of Christ broken for you." I miss partaking in that way. It seems to bring the body together in a way that partaking in the Lord's Supper with the passing of plates does not do. It's intimate and creates a bond because you usually are not sitting by the same person every week. It also nourishes through ritual an environment of the priesthood of believers rather than a hierarchy of church leadership.

Following that, two people began to play guitar. One of the interesting things about the worship is that the hymn "Be Thou My Vision" has been on my mind a lot lately and that was the concluding part of the singing portion of the service. The worship through music was very touching. I have not been moved from the music service in church like that in a long time. Throughout the service, Scripture was read between the songs. What I liked most is that the worship was not interrupted with anything. We just sung the songs and the Scripture reading assignments were done beforehand.

Then we moved into the lesson/sermon. In a smaller group, it is rather silly to have one person speak while everyone else just listens. It was an interactive learning time in which we talked about forgiveness. I learned a lot from the people in the group, which will prove beneficial to the sermon on grace that I have been working on to preach in two weeks. Dave (I think that was his name) led the discussion through sharing his thoughts on forgiveness. He did a great job at creating a springboard for group discussion and providing insights from his studies on the subject.

After that we shared in the fellowship meal. There was a great vegetable soup, a wonderful rice/meat something, and bread. At the end of the meal, we shared in the cup, remembering the sacrifice of Christ.

Three and a half hours after we arrived, we left refreshed in the Spirit and excited about the Lord. It made me long to be part of a church that gathers in such a way again. I miss it. I miss it a lot. I miss those people, and I created new friendships that will sadly not ripen due to not being around them regularly.

Obviously, a church is much more than what goes on during their gathering on a Sunday morning, but if the gathering is a sign of the life of the body, then these churches are very healthy. I am so overjoyed to see that. May God continue to bless them with fellowship and a love that overflows.