Let me list just two of them here: 1. The typical wedding is enormously expensive. This is considerably problematic when you think how poor* many young couples are when they start out, and how financial struggles threaten a marriage.2. The ostentation that is a part of most weddings is hardly in keeping with the modesty and humility that we profess. Paul tells us that everything we do should be for God's glory. But a wedding is not His day, it's "her day".
I've been thinking about counseling people to elope. However, that does not promote community. It does nothing to guarantee that God's glory is even considered. And it may fail communicate what truly significant event the wedding is.
So I am trying to come up with ideas that will reflect the significance of the day while still glorifying God above all and preserving Christian modesty. It is a difficult thing to balance, becasue many of the things that signal the importance of the day are the same things which are most self-glorifying (expensive clothes, ceremonial entrances, etc...)
I'd like to see the processions tweaked, perhaps the attire too.
Perhaps we could start the ceremony with some simple reminders of who God and what he has done.
Perhaps the couple could speak some vows (together and/or as individuals) directly to God as well as to each other.
Encourage them to do a gift registry here.
Accepting ideas in the comments.
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2 comments:
You are obviously not a woman despite the name.
Seriously, I think what is currently done could be simplified. We did an inexpensive wedding by today's standards but still spent too much. But I still feel cheap to this day for doing that. Our reception and our photographs stunk.
As you probably already now, it's not the wedding that is expensive. It's that darn reception.
And wedding gifts seem appropriate for many couples. It depends on their stage in life. For us, we did not have many of the necessities (or wants of American society) of life because we were just nearing the end of college and had not really lived on our own yet. The gifts were a blessing.
I concur with Regan on a few things. First, the receptions are killer in the pocketbook. Of course, they always have been, even back to biblical times. A week long feast would put us all in the poor house.
However, the ability for the guests to provide some things for a young couple is a great thing. But because of the "Wedding Rules and protocol" that are in some book somewhere, the expectation on the couple is that they provide this lavish reception and the people who attend give a gift about the same cost as their meal. It is kind of insane.
I can't stand weddings, especially in their current form. They end up satisfying some perceived cultural expectation. So, Shannon I agree with you that something must be done and join in your efforts for reform to return the event to a sacrament and not its current practice.
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